Owning the middle game, or how to manage the great flip flop

The year was 2001. I was on a road trip with a friend of mine from high school. We had just rolled into a town in Connecticut, where another friend from our graduating class attended university. We knocked on the apartment door and were greeted by an older man with graying hair who appeared to be in his mid sixties. I guessed that he must be my friend's roommate's father, on account that he bore no resemblence to my friend in any regard. Moments later, I was startled when he introduced himself as the roommate. This "older man" was a student at the same university as the friend we were visiting. To a young, barely 20 something, this seemed highly unusual. He told us, "call me Joe."

We were a bit tired from the drive and decided to take some time to rest from our journey in the apartment. Joe sat in his chair reading a book. I became a bit curious and asked what book he was reading. It was a chess book. "You play chess?" I asked. "Yes, I'm learning anyway. I'm teaching myself. Would you like to play?"

Full disclosure, I am not a good chess player. However, I do know a few tricks of the game and also know that chess is a game of offense. After agreeing to play, we sat down at a little table for a match. I made some bold opening moves and tried to quickly overtake my opponent. Not long after I was crushed in a humiliating defeat.

He looked me in the eyes and said, "Good game. You have a really strong opening, but the most important part is the middle game not the opening. A strong middle game is what pushes you closer to victory. You can't skip the middle game and go straight to victory." To be honest I felt pretty stupid. It was pretty humbling. I expected to foolishly just "beat this old man quickly." How wrong I was. The experience taught me something that I'll never forget: the most important part of everything is the middle game. It's the journey, not the opening, not the finish that matters, but the strategy of endurance.

Staying in it for the long haul may not always be a consideration when starting a new relationship or job. Why stick it out when you can try to find something better? Once you're past the initial joy of getting the job or finding that new love, the feelings fade, and the urge of tapping out and finding something new feels easy and attractive. After all it might pay off any put you ahead.

Everyone is in the middle game now

There has been lots of buzz around the "great migration." Or, the phenomenon the media refers to where a sizable portion of the population quits their jobs because of the changes the pandemic has created in our society. It mostly effects service industry jobs, but it also effects other sectors of the economy as well. In the tech industry it's a "great flip flop." Folks are leaving their roles at one company for an identical role at another. The reason for this in my eyes is clear: many of us (tech workers) don't want to play the middle game of the pandemic. The newness has warn off, many of us buckled down and "dug in" for a long haul, and expected to go "back to normal" only to realize that life as it is now is the new "normal." Opening moves have been made and it feels compelling to leave our current situations for something different something new again.

You can't blame people for flip flopping. Those that leave are being offered nice perks like salary bumps that their current companies will not offer "out of the blue." Generally, people are run down from the pandemic and finding it harder to cultivate meaning in the work that they do. They're finding it harder to get noticed in the sea of other employees. For some, switching jobs provides sweet relief; it goes beyond perks like salary bumps.

How to not tap out and stay in the game

When we tap out of one thing it puts us on a new track with new goals, new opportunities and fresh ideas. But, it also prevents the cultivation of a valuable quality: grit - the ability to stick it out. I would argue it's also a key quality in longterm happiness. Grit isn't just about enduring something that tortures you or some such nonsense. It helps us to see the value in the little things, to make the mundane into something worth living and to savor the small victories. Grit allows us to detach ourselves from the stress and anxieties of everyday worklife and lastly it allows us to look deeply at our own shortcomings and improve upon them.

If you are thinking of leaving your current role for something better, remember that which seems better is distorted by the lenses of your own perception. You will look for every opportunity to logically reinforce your gut instincts. I assure you it is in your best interest to ignore those base instincts, detach yourself and think logically. Ask yourself, what do you truly stand to gain by leaving your current job for another identical job. If your choices root purely in financial reason, then consider asking your employer to match. If they are unable to comply, so be it.

If you are in a leadership role reading this right now, you should think about how to better keep and take care of the employees you have. How do you cultivate meaning? How do you track progress? How do you play the middle game? How do you check in and make sure your flock are happy? Do not forget about those that have stayed for the middle game. Reward them for their service.